Some people say the separation of parents brings out the worse in children. “Stay together for the sake of the children,” they say, believing that there are greater benefits to having both parents around. As a result, many individuals stay in their marriages because, apparently, it is in the best interest of the kids.
Staying for the sake of the children is commendable. In some cases, however, you should ask yourself this important question: when is ending the marriage more beneficial for the kids than staying?
Children Witnessing Abuse
If your children witness physical or emotional abuse, do them a favor by leaving. Abuse has no place in a relationship. Not only will you protect yourself, you are also protecting them.
Think of the message you leave them when you stay with a person who fails to care for you. By standing up for yourself, they learn that abuse and tolerance is not okay. Apart from imparting valuable lessons, you also keep them away from the hands of your abusive spouse. Eric L. Risk, a family law attorney, recommends leaving with the children for safety.
An All Time Low in Parenting
Going through a rough patch with your spouse is extremely difficult. Sometimes, it takes its toll on your behavior. Your mood changes every now and then; rather than respond quietly, you may end up going through the day distracted, forgetful, or irritable. These miserable moments do not only affect you — these also manifest in the presence if your children.
The bulk of emotions and challenges often affect how you treat your children. As a parent, it is your responsibility to watch how you respond to them. If your marriage is causing you to be a terrible mother/father, it is time to re-think your decisions.
When the Negatives Outweighs the Positives
To determine if you should really leave, a list is helpful. Note down all the pros and cons of your relationship by factoring yourself and the children. After you write, see which column is longer. If the positives are heavier compared to the cons, then maybe you can work something out.
If, however, the negatives outweigh the positives, then what is the point in staying? Best to file for a divorce now; it might be the best thing for your children.